


What if we were kidnapped (and we were both boys OwO)

by Tht0neGal666



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), The Flash - All Media Types, Young Justice (Comics), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: ADHD bart allen, ADHD hellbrain, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hummingbird - Freeform, Humor, I almost wanna say this is ooc but like., Memes, No Angst, One Shot, Sassy Tim Drake, and crack i guess?, bart...an ADHD icon....., it isn't they're just Like That, not shippy but you can read it that way, sassy bart allen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tht0neGal666/pseuds/Tht0neGal666
Summary: "Oh? But I can, Timothy, you know that. My resources are more bountiful then even Wayne's, and my rules are much less...unreasonably restrictive. If you joined me, the world would be at your finger tips. There's nothing I couldn't do for you." A foreign voice responded and, wow, that was an evil monologue if Bart had ever heard one, and his grandfather was Thawne.
Relationships: Bart Allen & Tim Drake, Bart Allen/Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Ra's al Ghul
Comments: 21
Kudos: 423





	What if we were kidnapped (and we were both boys OwO)

**Author's Note:**

> hummingbird? In *my* 2019? More likely then you think.
> 
> Anyway cannon doesn't exist Bart isn't dead and DC owes me 30 dollars in cash for shit they're pulling. It's been a while since I wrote here but some things never change IG.

"You see, Ra's, the problem with you is that you claim you can give me _anything_ I want." His best friend's voice drawled, and Bart shook his head to wake himself up. He winced when the movement was much more sluggish and slow then he was used to, and then felt _dread_ settle somewhere around his neck, where the Metahuman Inhibiting collar apparently sat.

What the hell happened?

"Oh? But I can, Timothy, you know that. My resources are more bountiful then even Wayne's, and my rules are much less...unreasonably restrictive. If you joined me, the world would be at your finger tips. There's nothing I couldn't do for you." A foreign voice responded and, _wow_ , that was an evil monologue if Bart had ever heard one, and his grandfather was _Thawne_.

"Are you quite sure? Because I've only ever asked _one thing_ of you, and you have yet to deliver on it for more then, like, a month." Robin accused. Bart was tied to his back, unable to see his face, but he would bet money that Robin had a single unimpressed eyebrow raised. Both the voice and expression were something he was _intimately_ familiar with- he called it Robin's 'please grow a braincell' face.

Bart knew he was probably supposed to sit still and try not to get noticed, but. Well. He didn't do _sit still_ any more then Robin did _tell the truth_ or Kon did _stop showing off for one fucking second_ or Cassie did _just follow directions_. He shifted nervously, tapping his fingers as quietly as he could on his leg, getting steadily louder as his frustration grew because they wouldn't move _faster_. 

He went ignored, though, so maybe he was doing something right. 

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." The strange voice claimed curiously.

"Literally all I've ever wanted from you was for you to _leave me the fuck alone_." Robin seethed, and Bart winced. That was, in fact, his _leave me the fuck alone_ voice, another Bart was intimately familiar with, though Rob didn't really use it on the team. He had just overheard enough conversations with Rob's creepy family. "It's so easy. Hell, _my Dad_ did it well enough, and he wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. Why do you, the esteemed Ra's Al Ghul, who has been alive for thousands of years and procured endless knowledge and wisdom or whatever, have so much trouble?" He seethed.

Bart relaxed a little, smiling. He didn't know what Robin's play was yet (like the rest of him his brain was moving to _slow_ ), but he had to have one if he wasn't being super-duper serious. They'd be fine- Bart trusted him.

"Why Detective, I just would hate to let such potential go to waste. One day you'll understand." The voice tutted. 

"Okay Boomer." Bart chirped, before he even realized he was going to speak. 

He had a split second to feel terrible for interrupting whatever show of wits Robin and this Ra's guy were in the middle of, maybe ruining whatever plan Robin had, before Robin made it _absolutely worth it_ by _laughing._ He laughed hard enough to hurt himself, wheezing and coughing and unrestrained, and Bart hadn't heard that in _months_. Even when he was trying to act happy and jokey, Robin didn't laugh much at all anymore.

There was a small beep in his ear as the collar around his neck was deactivated, Robin still busting a gut, and Bart laughed alongside him as he vibrated them out of the ropes and _ran_ , like he had been itching to for almost _six whole minutes_. Jeez, how did people just _live_ like that?

A man-Ra's, Bart was like 76% sure Robin called him?- was standing behind where he was sat- in front of Robin- and he looked like Bart had just set a cat on fire and handed it to him still burning. The old geezer didn't have time to react or respond, before Bart ran through his _maze_ of a base with reckless abandon, until they were outside on some snowy mountain, and then three mountains over, collapsed in the snow and clinging to each other as they laughed themselves breathless with relief and surprise and mirth.

Bart had to stop himself from accidentally vibrating through the snow that melted around him, as he buzzed with kinetic energy and speed-force and _joy_ at making Robin happy enough to _laugh_ and relaxed enough to _not stop_.

"Ho-Ho-Holy _shit_ Bart what the _fuck_ why did- who told- where did- _ohmyactualgod-"_

"What? You say it all the time! I'm, like, 93% sure that I _totally_ used that right!" He tried to pout defensively, but it didn't work. He wasn't _quite_ sure why Robin thought it was so funny that he was hysterical over it, but his laughter was _contagious_. If Bart didn't know better, he'd think it was Robin's superpower.

That only Bart was susceptible to? So maybe not. Whatever. Robin didn't _need_ a superpower anyway- he'd _always_ known that.

But the point stood- Robin was laughing, so Bart was laughing just as much. And, right now, that meant _a lot_.

"Oh you _totally fucking did_. Jesus, I have _never_ been more thankful that my mask was left on when I was kidnapped- I caught _every second_ of that reaction. I'm going to print it frame by frame. I'm going to make a collage. It's going to hang on my _wall,_ Bart. I fucking _love_ you." He claimed in between cackles, words getting more coherent as he muttered and used them to form plans and plots. Bart clung tighter to him and _shook_ with humor.

Only Robin could say something like that so _seriously._

"Bart. Seriously. I think you just added 3 years onto my life. This footage alone will get me _so many favors_. You're objectively my favorite person now."

"Anything for you, Rob!" He beams, finally able to breathe again, just a little. He stretched, and winced- he pulled a muscle while curled up laughing, but it was already half healed. 

Maybe it's supposed to be a throwaway line, a joke, a sarcastic claim. But Robin leans into him as easily as breathing when Bart picks him up to _run_ again, as if he isn't usually a paranoid mess, as if trusting Bart is _easy_ even with all his hangups. He keeps shaking with laughter and smiling into Bart's arm and clinging to him almost-affectionately-

And Bart knows that he means it. No matter what.

 _Anything for you_.


End file.
